Pity And Fear

Grace did not want to join my family for Thanksgiving. She was tired of "the look". She aptly described the stares of either pity or fear - or a strange mix of both - when they find out she's a heroin addict.

But she pushed past the embarrassment and came along. She said the best reaction was from my brother, who simply wrapped her in a big hug. No judgement, no fear, no shame. Thank you for that gift, bro.

I saw those looks this week at Melody's school Christmas concert. At a private school it's even worse. We good little Christian people don't know what to do with... shhhhh, don't say it out loud, with... sin; with failure, with those who fall short. We either ignore it or awkwardly pat each other on the back and say 'there, there'. Then walk away thinking what a good deed we have done to show God's love to the unlovely.

I want to shout: IT'S NOT CONTAGIOUS!!!! She won't contaminate your children. Her 9 year old daughter won't somehow leak this disease on to your family. I understand the fear, but I hate the judgement. I believe God sees our choice to act out of fear as sin too. It hurts Him (and us) just as much as that needle in the addict's arm.

Thankfully there are those who flow more closely with God's Heart. Like Sunday, when Grace pushed up her sleeves at church. She was talking to a friend at the time and spoke of her shame of the scars on her arms. Grace was worried she would never fit in with the 'good' people she saw around her.

But this angel spoke the truth to her; "Everyone here has scars. They're just not as visible, but we all have them."

I have to balance all this with the knowledge that I can't protect her from the consequences of her actions. There will always be those who judge her, and hate her, and look down on her for the rest of her life. She will always battle not only inside her heart and mind, but with the outside world. But it hurts more for me when I see that fear and pity coming from God's children. We have so far to go to know His Love and reflect it to our hurting world...