Sitting for hours with her at the welfare office with stupefied responses from dumbfounded case workers who had no idea what to do with an honest addict asking for help finally lead to a very cold, uncaring phone call that said she would have to wait at least a month to get into a treatment program.
We were both in tears - and then I went to battle. The following is a copy of the email I sent out to local media and elected officials, which were followed by phone calls. The second email is a follow up thank you for the help in rattling a few cages. I'm leaving out names again. You'll recall from my summary that Grace did get into treatment within 3 days of this email, but checked herself out after a day.
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July 6, 2010
Dear Senator ----- and Representatives --------- and --------:
I am fighting for my daughter’s life. Denial, shame and fear have held me back from this battle for too long. My daughter [Grace] is a heroin addict. She has abused drugs or alcohol for more than half of her 30 years. She forced herself to detox alone this weekend without any formal assistance, holding on until today so she could get help from the only system available to help; the Department of Social and Health Services.
I have watched her struggle for years, not knowing when to step in and back her up. Last year when she admitted abusing Oxycontin, she got herself clean and went to DSHS for help. She asked to go into a treatment program, but her social worker told her the solution was “mind over matter” – he had survived war in Vietnam and anyone could overcome anything if they just tried hard enough. Right now I’d like to find that man and force him to look at Grace’s track marks - knowing she asked for help before she started shooting drugs into her veins. I know it was her choice, but she had a much better chance to overcome this before she started using heroin.
So this time when she admitted the problem, her dad and I agreed we would help fight the system. It is hard enough to traverse the horribly complex ‘assistance’ programs when you feel well and are at full mental strength. It is insurmountable when you are 5 days clean. I watched her puke her guts out all weekend, shake and sweat and clench her teeth; just holding on until the DSHS offices opened today. I am glad I was there to try to help because it turned out to be a nightmare that left us both in tears.
Even though they did not have space in their facility to help this weekend, the detox center encouraged us to find a bed in a treatment program immediately after detox. Heroin is the most addictive drug out there. Grace is finally ready to take the right steps to beat this thing. Every minute, much less every day, is excruciating in her condition. She is depressed, lonely and needs immediate help.
It was clear at the DSHS office that an honest addict asking for help was unusual. The first two people we talked to were helpful and offered hope that we would find answers today (Mrs. ------ and Ms. ----). The final step was to see a social worker for a drug assessment, or so we thought. Instead, Ms. ---- was assigned to her case (perhaps as her social worker, I am not sure). Ms. ---- refused to allow me to accompany Lisa even though we both asked. She arranged for a drug assessment on Friday (3 days from now) through an outside agency and for counseling for depression.
I was able to locate a phone number for Ms. ---- and her supervisor, ----------. Ms. ----- called back to assure us there is nothing more anyone can do. Since Grace had signed a form agreeing to this course of action, Ms. ---- felt there was enough incentive for her to follow the program. I cannot disagree more.
I then spoke to the counselor who will be doing the drug assessment on Friday. He agreed that Friday was the earliest he could see Grace. And that it would take several days if not weeks to get her into a treatment program. If she has managed to get clean and sober, she can look up some AA meetings for support until more help is available.
Grace is not the typical homeless addict with no hope. She has a strong support system around her ready to help her overcome this disease. She is ready, willing and begging for help for the first time - actually she is asking for a second time, but was turned away the first time.
I recognize this may be the best the system has to offer. But for an addict going into treatment for the first time, with support and energy and hope, there ought to be a way to meet her need. There is an unspoken assumption that she will keep using until there is an open bed; or that heroin addiction a hopeless cause and not worth the effort since she’ll only go back to the drug. I don’t care what ‘usually’ happens with heroin addicts. I don’t care that the normal system takes weeks or months before it allows her to take the first steps towards recovery. She needs help and she needs it NOW. Her 8 year daughter deserves this chance as much as Grace does.
I hope that you or your office will be able to provide help or guidance to us as we fight to keep my daughter alive. That may sound dramatic, but most drug or alcohol experts have told us that this disease is fatal unless there is intervention. We intervened - Grace finally wants help - help is out there. But it must happen now if she is to have a fighting chance. This is an opportunity for DSHS to shine, to help someone who is ready to turn their life around.
I hope to hear from you by tomorrow, Wednesday, July 7th. My cell number is ------. My husband is off work on Thursday or Friday and can be reached at --------.
Thank you,
Grace's Mom and Dad
PS: I’ve copied a couple of news outlets just in case this opportunity for ‘the system’ to step up and help before it’s too late might be of interest to them.
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July 7, 2010
Wow, what a difference 24 hours can make. I want to thank you all for you help, especially ---- (media person) and Senator -------- office who got the ball rolling in the right direction. I've spoken to many, many helpful people today and have phone numbers for additional help if needed. Forgive me, I'm still not sure who everyone is and how the different agencies relate, but ------- (with ------- County Health Department I think) was able to move the assessment up to tomorrow morning for Grace. From there we will take the first available treatment bed in the state - which is expected to be no longer than a week.
I realize this will ultimately be Grace's war to win. I have felt helpless against this disease for so long, I may have pushed harder than necessary with this one battle where I felt I could take up the sword for her. But she now has a clearer path to health thanks to all your efforts today. I am deeply grateful...
Thank you again,
Grace's Mom
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