Week In Review

I end the day today with a deep sense of contentment. As I tucked Melody in to bed, with Grace sleeping in the bottom bunk, I am grateful for the time I share with both of them. Grace has come so far, and Melody is loving the time with her mom in the security of our home.

I am recognizing that much of my ability to handle the stress of my life comes from the techniques I am learning in the recovery class at church. But it's so much more than the typical 'recovery' information... more than just facts and lessons... it is real life application tools that allow me to access the truth about God and who He made me to be.

I don't know if I can detail the specifics here (but leave a comment with your email if you want the name of class - I won't publish the comment but can respond personally). By far the biggest stress this week has been my well-meaning husband. I have been amazed at the difference in my response compared to similar conflicts in the past.

I am able to stay calm even when I perceive he is upset with me, and even start to see a glimmer of who he is in God's eyes. This is such a big deal for me! It's nothing short of miraculous. To not have my heart and mind go into overload - not go into that quivering state of panic where I have to fix the conflict by either taking in all the blame and give in - or by getting angry with him and passing all the fault his direction.

And even after the debate, when I was worn out and drained, I was able to return to a place of peace fairly quickly. I started to journal my thoughts, but instead spent the time reminding myself about what God says about me. It wasn't an ego thing, I needed to be reminded in that moment that Jesus loves me and paid the highest price to give me relationship with the Father. What He says about me is more important than any other message (internal or external).

In other news for the week, Grace asked my church to pray for her needs (financing the methadone program when her medical is cut next month, finding safe housing she can afford). She was told last week that she will be given a grant to be slowly taken off the methadone over the next 11 months. She's giving credit for that miracle to God, saying again tonight that she thinks praying over the issue did more to help than anything.

Grace is doing well in school, keeping up with her group therapy, testing clean weekly. The folks at CPS seem really surprised and excited to see that they may have someone who is pulling it together. The mental health evaluation meetings are done now, so all that's left is finding affordable housing and a job. No small tasks, but she is so much closer than I dreamed.

As excited and happy as I am for Grace, I am also excited to recognize in me a healthy distance from her behavior, even the good behavior. I'm not rushing around to find housing for her. I'm not bringing home job applications. I know I'm still nagging her, but not nearly as much as I want to or once would have. I've got a ways to go, but I recognize these steps are hers to make, not mine.

So progress continues, in my family and in me. I am content. God is good. Life is good. What more can I ask?