Emanuel

There are cycles in life; in the day to day and in the bigger seasons. I'm enjoying a few good days. I catch myself worrying about the next down cycle or analysing the current mood to death... my way of protecting my heart. Problem is my self-protection is that doesn't work. I used to think God would protect me from everything bad or hurtful, but that belief is changing.

I am coming to realize there is no protection from this broken world. Things hurt. People make wrong choices. Life sucks sometimes. There is hope that someday all our tears will be wiped away in heaven, but till then we just hold on.

What is changing in me is the very real knowledge that Jesus is with me no matter what happens. He weeps with me. He holds me when I grieve. He knows the pain of a mother whose daughter struggles, the fear of a wife who can't live up to her own expectations. He's experienced it all, knows intimately the challenge of anything I will face. There is so much life in walking with Emanuel - God with us. I so appreciate not only the lessons taught in this truth, but the chance to practice this new walk within a loving community.

I had to confront someone last week. It was hard and I was so frightened. The response was challenging, but the process brought hope. I am so much more at peace knowing I did the right thing, no matter what the consequences. I know there will more confrontations. But the whisper from Emanuel yesterday gave me even more hope ~ that I can trust my heart even when others around me do not.

So me and my heart will enjoy this time of peace with a loving God who promises to never leave me or forsake me. The battles with fear will come again, the tears and the grieving. But for now I rest...