I am alone for two nights. Melody gets two overnights in a row with Grace. It's so quiet here... other than the dog pacing. Hubby's upstairs sleeping and I'm fighting the urge to clean house just to fill the void.
I have no idea how to do this - how to live a strong, independent life at peace with myself. I am driven to fill the emptiness with something... work to prove myself... or food... or TV... The goal is for Grace to get Melody back soon. I may very well be cut out completely at that point. I want them to be together. But I'm so afraid of being alone.
Funny, that's a concern I have with Grace right now. She demands to have Melody around her whenever she can. She "gets lonely". Grace is angry when I allow Melody to go overnight with friends because that means she has to be alone. I sure understand, especially tonight....
But I have to keep in mind what's best for Melody, and I have to force Grace to do the same. It's not easy - in fact its really hard - but it can and must be done. So I'll sit in quiet for a few moments and savor the clean, silent house knowing that my girls are giggling in the cottage just down the road. At least the dog stopped pacing.
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