Life And Death

This month has given me cause to reassess my priorities. I've had two friends, both younger than I am, die unexpectedly. Dave just collapsed, Michell had a few days to say goodbye. Both feel like tragic thefts of lives with so much still to live.

We laid Michell to rest today, Dave a few weeks ago. Despite the sorrow, I am grateful for the time spent with these two treasures. They planted seeds of wisdom and love that have grown over the years in my heart. The focus today is Michell, my sweet sister with a heart of steel. She loved her husband and children fiercely. She devoted her life to her family. I understand her commitment and pray she found balance that I have yet to achieve... but that's the subject of a different blog post.

Today, I realize that I need to cherish each moment I have. I want to choose life with my remaining days. The scripture below from Deuteronomy 30 comes to mind:

¹⁵ “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, ¹⁶ in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the LORD your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. ¹⁷ But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, ¹⁸ I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. ¹⁹ I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; ²⁰ that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

I no longer want to serve the god of "busyness" or ego or even family. There is nothing that can compare to walking in deep relationship with God moment to moment to moment. It's from that well-spring that life flows, that family and friends are blessed, that my self esteem is at rest, that my time is set in healthy priorities and I don't need to avoid my emotions with good deeds. 

Michell chose well. She loved and blessed so many around her. Like Dorcas of Acts, we spent today weeping and showing each other the gifts she gave us while she was with us. But I still wish I could hear her voice again, listen to her sing, share worship with her... Some day we'll stand with the angels and sing praises to the God of the universe who chose to take her home before I was ready. In her honor and by her example, I will choose life today - that it may go well for me and my descendants in the land He is giving me...